apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
