I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize
