I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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