Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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