After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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