dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
