somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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