if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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