she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
