at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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