thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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