Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
