I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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