What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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