It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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