I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
