I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
