I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Randomize
