just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
