giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
