We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Houston, we have a blender
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
