He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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