I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I DEMAND FORESKIN
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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