You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
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