i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
