thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
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