I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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