just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
