why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
