im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
