I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Randomize
