just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
