Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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