My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
