Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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