11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
