I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
