Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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