She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Randomize
