Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
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