his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Randomize
