he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Randomize
