Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
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