someone threw a dead crab at me
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Randomize
