My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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