Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
