whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
