I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Randomize
