If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
