My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
